


We All Have Our Roles to Play

by AmericanWolf



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Multi, Once Upon a Time (TV) References, Pirates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-15 00:43:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21244706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmericanWolf/pseuds/AmericanWolf
Summary: A series of one-shots in which Jack Rackham encounters characters from other TV shows and movies.





	1. Hooked

Jack Rackham leaned back in his chair, a smirk playing across his lips as he watched the whores move about his brothel. His brothel. God that felt good to say. Though he didn’t care to admit it, he was rather pleased with his tenacity and luck. The brothel was sure to pull a pretty penny…after all this was Nassau and pirates were always in need of a good rough and tumble after terrorizing England and Spain.

“You’re looking rather pleased with yourself,” said Anne Bonny as she slunk out of the shadows and walked toward the table.

“I am, darling,” Rackham crowed, running a hand across his mustache. “Look around you! Is this not the most glorious thing you’ve ever seen?”

Anne raised an eyebrow, peering at Jack from under the brim of her large hat. “A bunch of half-naked women running around is your idea of glory?”

“I am but a warm-blooded man, Anne,” Rackham quipped, taking a swig of rum. “Besides, its not so much the tits that interest me, but they money they have a way of procuring for us.”

Anne sneered and crossed her arms as she glowered out at the brothel. “Yeah? Well having a ship and plundering merchant vessels also brings a pretty penny in.”

Rackham gave Anne an annoyed look. “Please do not spoil the mood, darling. And you already know that we don’t have a ship at the moment, so this will have to do for now.”

“Lighten up, Bonny,” growled a deep voice as a man sauntered confidently toward them.

“Captain,” said Rackham as he enthusiastically raised his glass. “Good to see you out and about!”

Charles Vane grunted in reply, his eyes shifting back to Anne who stood, glaring up at him balefully. “If you have something to say, say it.”

“Got nothin’ more to say to you,” she snarled. “To either of you. Not until you pull your heads out your asses and find us a fucking ship. We’re bloody pirates not tavern wenches for Christ’s sake!”

“If we’re so incompetent why don’t you procure us a ship, then?” retorted Vane as he slid down into the seat next to Rackham.

Just then, an unfamiliar figure sauntered into the brothel, a cocky smirk playing across a rather handsome face. His dark hair was placed just so and his shirt was open, revealing a toned chest. Where his left hand should be, a silver hook gleamed brightly in the low light. His crystal blue eyes glittered as they took in the sights of the brothel, his tongue licking his lips like a hungry cat stalking his prey. He was dressed in expensive-looking leather and silk pieces and he held himself with such confidence that the entire brothel had stopped to stare at him in wonder.

“Perhaps I will,” Anne said, eyeing the stranger in interest as she moved away from the table.

“Anne?” asked Rackham, his face contorted in concern as he watched his beloved stalk toward the attractive stranger. “Anne where are you going?”

“None of your business,” Anne hissed over her shoulder as she walked away.

“Who the hell is that?” Rackham asked, turning in his chair to face Vane.

Vane smirked as he drank more rum. “Dunno, but Bonny seems interested.”

Rackham narrowed his eyes at his best friend. “Thank you, Charles. Very helpful.”

“He dresses like a man with money,” Vane rumbled. “She might be on to something, Jack. Trust your woman. She just might get us a ship tonight.”

“That better be all she gets from him tonight,” muttered Rackham, shifting uncomfortably in his chair as he turned to watch Anne guide the stranger toward a nearby table.

He watched as the man eyed Anne from head to toe and licked his lips again. Rackham grimaced at the sight and noted how every woman in the brothel seemed to stare in the man’s direction.

“I don’t see what’s so great about him,” he grumbled as he reached for his rum. “I mean I dress well too.”

Vane rubbed a hand across his mouth, trying to mask his amusement at Jack’s predicament. “You do, Jack.”

“I mean I have nice coats,” Rackham rambled. “I have shirts made of silk from countries he probably has never even heard about. I just don’t have a bloody ship, that’s all. And who’s to say he even has a ship?”

“Oi, he does have a ship and quite a beautiful one at that,” crooned Max as she approached their table to refill their drinks. “She’s called the Jolly Roger and she’s anchored up in the bay.”

“Bloody fantastic!” exclaimed Rackham as he slammed his glass down on the table. “Of course he has a fucking beautiful ship!”

Max’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and she glanced over at Vane. “What’s wrong with him?”

Vane smirked as he passed Max his empty cup. “Jack’s feeling a bit jealous of the new guy. Anne’s over there trying to smooth talk her way into getting us a ship.”

Max glanced over at the table and saw Anne place her hand on top of the stranger’s and smile at him, tilting her head just slightly and biting her lower lip. She watched Rackham shift in his seat again and mutter more curses under his breath and she couldn’t help but laugh a little at his predicament.

“I’m glad you two are amused,” Rackham mumbled. “I’m glad my pain can bring you some joy in your pathetic, miserable lives.”

Anne stood up from the table and held out her hand, gesturing for the man to follow her. He stood up enthusiastically, eyes glowing as he stared at Anne. She began to walk back toward Rackham and Vane’s table and Max quickly scurried away, eager to get out of the line of fire should Rackham lose his temper.

“This ought to be good,” Vane muttered while Jack threw him another annoyed glance.

“This is Killian Jones,” Anne said as she walked up to the table. “Killian, this is my captain Charles Vane, and his quartermaster Jack Rackham.”

“Is that all I am to you now, darling?” asked Rackham, eyes narrowed into angry slits as he glared up at her. “Vane’s quartermaster?”

Anne gave Jack a fake smile and rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind him, he’s in a mood.”

Killian smirked at Jack’s obvious jealous and reached out a hand. “Pleasure to meet you,” he said, shaking Jack’s hand and then reaching across the table to shake Vane’s. “Anne here tells me you’re in need of my services.”

“Depends on exactly what you mean by services,” Rackham said, glowering.

“Well, from what I gathered, you’ve found yourselves without a ship,” Killian said, eyes glittering with laughter as he shifted closer to Anne. “And it just so happens that I have a brand new, beautiful ship out there in the bay, willing and able to take you aboard and see if we can’t commandeer you another ship.”

“What’s your price?” asked Vane, studying the man carefully.

“Price?” asked Killian with a laugh. “For a beautiful woman such as this,” he said as he wrapped an arm around Anne’s waist. “I’ll do it for free.”

Rackham stood up so fast that his chair clattered to the floor. The sound startled the nearby occupants of the brothel and everyone turned to stare at them.

“Jack,” Vane growled a low warning. “Easy.”

“Get your hand off my woman or I swear to god you’ll need a second hook,” Rackham snarled as he stepped toward Killian.

“Jack!” hissed Anne, eyes flashing in fury.

“Easy, love,” Killian crooned as he stepped in front of her and came toe to toe with Rackham. “And as for you, Rackham was it? Well…I can do quite a few things with this hook. It would be in your best interest to not threaten me.”

“Threaten? You think that’s all I’m doing?” Rackham asked, incredulous. “I’ll have you know I’ve…”

“Jack, enough!” Vane barked as he stood up from his chair. “We’ll hear the man out. Or did you want to stay here and run a brothel for the rest of your life?”

Anne sneered and crossed her arms. “Men,” she muttered under her breath. “You all think with your fucking cocks instead of your heads.”

“Perhaps we should speak…alone?” suggested Vane, nodding to Killian.

“Splendid,” said Killian, giving Rackham a cold smile. “Give your quartermaster some time to cool down, eh?”

“Anne stay here,” Vane barked. “Get him under control by the time we get back.”

“I’ll be back soon, love,” Killian whispered, giving Anne a wink before he turned to follow Vane out of the crowded brothel.

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” seethed Rackham. “I’m going to cut off every fucking limb he has!”

“Would you knock it the fuck off?” snapped Anne, stepping closer to Rackham. “I was trying to help get us a fucking ship and you’re over here acting like some jealous little boy!”

“He was touching you,” said Rackham, gesturing wildly. “And looking at you like…like you were something to eat…and his clothes, he just…he…”

“For Christ’s sake Jack he’s just like you that’s why you don’t fucking like him!” Anne interrupted. “Don’t know what you’re worried about though. You already know how I feel about you and I sure as hell don’t need two of you driving me fucking crazy.”

Rackham scowled and adjusted his elaborate calico jacket. “I’m better looking than he is,” he grumbled.

Anne tried to suppress a smile as she watched Rackham preen himself. “You’re so fucking full of it.”

Rackham watched as Anne turned and walked away, clearly fed up with him for the time being. Killian Jones was nothing like him, nothing. I mean the man was arrogant as hell, overly dressed, clearly obsessed with himself and…well…goddammit Anne was right. Rackham sighed in frustration and called out to Max. He needed another drink if he was going to survive living on a bloody pirate ship with Killian Jones until they managed to find a ship worth commandeering. He was going to need a lot of drinks for that in fact. He made a mental note to have Max give him double the usual supply.

Max refilled his glass, her eyes twinkling in amusement and Jack frowned.

He was better looking than Killian Jones. He was sure of it. Wasn’t he?


	2. Why is the Rum Gone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rackham meets Sparrow

Rackham felt like kissing the Nassau sand. Three bloody weeks on the fucking Jolly Roger with Killian Jones was enough to make him go mad. Twice he even contemplated throwing himself overboard and drowning in the sea just to make it all stop. The arrogant pirate captain flaunted his good-looks and obvious attraction to Anne right under Rackham’s nose the entire trip, but every time he made a move to put an end to Killian’s antics Vane had stopped him, insisting that this was all worth Rackham’s aggravation. Up until a few days ago. Rackham heartily disagreed with his captain and best friend. When Killian finally managed to locate a decent ship worthy of commandeering, Jack nearly cried with relief…that is until Vane told him to remain on the Jolly Roger with Killian for their journey home while Vane, Anne, and half their crew boarded their new vessel.

“I think I’m beginning to grow on you,” quipped Killian, smiling devilishly at Rackham’s retreating form.

Rackham didn’t even slow down or bother to turn and face the pirate. He was so tired of looking at that goddamn smirk and the eyeliner. Everything about the man was getting under his skin.

“Like a barnacle on the bow of my new ship,” he muttered in reply, stomping determinedly toward the brothel. He needed a drink. He needed all the drinks.

Anne drew up alongside him, her eyes glowing with mischief. “Have a nice trip back?”

Rackham narrowed his eyes at her. “Lovely. Splendid, actually. Quite pleasant. Thank you for asking.”

Anne bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at Rackham’s irritability. They walked into the brothel together and were instantly greeted by the sounds of angry men and the cries of scared women.

“What the fuck happened here?” Anne asked, looking around the disheveled room.

“Jesus, Jack,” said Charles Vane, walking in behind them.

“Bloody hell,” agreed Killian, one eyebrow raised in curiosity as he nudged a man lying on the floor. “This one’s dead I think.”

“Oh thank god you’re back!” said Max as she ran over to them. “We’ve been robbed.”

“Robbed?” blubbered Rackham giving max an incredulous look. “What the hell do you mean we’ve been robbed?”

“Someone came in two nights ago and stole all the rum from the back of the brothel,” Max said, her eyes wide with fear. “We had a couple barrels left up front, but now we’ve run dry. They’ve all been fighting over the last drops of it.”

Rackham opened his mouth, trying to form words. Could things get any worse?

“And what exactly are you doing to rectify this situation?” he managed to sputter after a moment.

“What would you like me to do, Jack?” asked Max, looking flustered. “I’m not a fucking pirate, its your job to make sure our supply doesn’t run dry!”

“Well I didn’t account for you somehow managing to get robbed!” Rackham snapped back. “This place has gone to shit!”

“Aye, um, beg your pardon,” said a rather drunk-looking man as he stumbled toward them.

Rackham’s brow furrowed in confusion as he stared at the bizarre man. He was dressed in a variety of different patterns and his hair hung in long, tasteful dreadlocks. Like Killian, his eyes were outlined with black charcoal and they glowed with the same arrogant light.

“I was just wondering,” the man slurred, his hands in the air as he swayed, unable to maintain his balance. “Why is the rum gone?”

Rackham threw his hands up into the air. “The hell if I know! Ask the woman who I left in charge of my bloody brothel while I was out on the fucking Jolly Roger, watching Captain Guyliner over here preen every bloody day!”

The odd man swayed even more on his feet as he tried to lean away from the raging Rackham. “I can see you need a drink too, mate,” he slurred, turning toward Killian. “What say you, good man? Why’s the rum gone?”

“Bloody hell mate, looks like you’ve got plenty of it yourself,” said Killian, looking the strange man up and down.

“Who the hell are you?” growled Vane, stalking forward menacingly.

The man put his hands up in front of his face and closed one eye, trying to focus. “Ah, well surely you’ve heard of the great Captain Jack Sparrow?”

Vane glanced over his shoulder at Rackham who just lifted his hands in a defeated shrug.

“How come you’re the only one in here that’s drunk?” asked Killian, stepping forward to stand next to Vane.

“Excellent question,” agreed Rackham as he stepped forward as well.

Anne sneered at all of them and walked over to stand with Max. “Might as well go find ourselves a seat. This could take a while.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Sparrow, trying to control his movements.

“Is that so?” asked Rackham, agitation rising. “And why exactly should we trust you…a drunk pirate captain we’ve never heard of?”

“Well, I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest,” Sparrow said with a confident smile. “Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly stupid.”

“What the fuck’s he going on about?” snarled Vane, advancing toward Sparrow.

“I don’t know, mate but I believe we’ve found the cause of the missing rum,” said Killian, lifting his hook.

“You should understand that I simply sold the rum, I did not merely steal it,” said Sparrow, backing away slowly.

“You sold the rum?” sputtered Rackham. “Who the fuck did you sell it to?”

“A very nice gentleman,” said Sparrow, smiling. “Quite nice, really. A bit weaselly if you as me, but nice. Said his name was somethin’ like gold…or silver was it?”

“YOU SOLD MY RUM TO JOHN FUCKING SILVER?!”

“Aye,” said Sparrow, moving around to the other side of a nearby table. “Said he was a friend of yours. Said you wouldn’t mind. Even gave me a barrel all to meself. Nice fellow, Silver.”

“I’m going to kill you and then I’m going to find John Silver and I’m going to kill him!” shouted Rackham, lunging forward.

The table between Rackham and Sparrow toppled over as Rackham launched himself at the drunk pirate. The two men went tumbling down to the ground in a heap, grunting with effort as they tried to subdue the other.

“Are you going to help him?” Max asked Anne.

Anne smirked in reply. “Fuck that. This is the most excitement I’ve had in days.”

“What the hell are they doing?” asked Killian, one eyebrow quirked in confusion as he watched Rackham try to get his hands around Sparrow’s throat. Sparrow, on the other hand, was desperately trying to slap Rackham’s hands away.

Vane tilted his head as he watched his quartermaster “battle” the drunk pirate. “I have no fucking idea.”

A long, awkward moment passed in which the two captains watched the men slapping and grappling on the floor before Killian spoke again. “Should we, um…stop them…?”

“I say we let them fight it out and you and I go discuss how we’re going to get our rum back,” said Vane, giving Killian a hard stare.

“We?” asked Killian. “Exactly how is your rum problem my problem?”

“It’s your problem if you decide to stay in Nassau and live in peace,” countered Vane, staring hard at the smaller pirate.

Killian sneered in disbelief. “I help you get a bloody ship and this is what I get in return?” He paused when he saw the dangerous glint in Vane’s eye and sighed. “Fine. Let’s go talk about getting your bloody rum back. I could use a barrel or two myself.”

Vane nodded curtly and led Killian to a table on the other side of the brothel, leaving the two Jacks to fight it out amongst themselves.

“Smart man,” Vane growled. “We’ll find the rum and you’ll get your share, then be on your way back to wherever the fuck you’re from, understood?”

“Trust me, Captain,” said Killian with an amused smirk. “I have no intention of staying in Nassau Town. Pleasure Island is more my style.”

Meanwhile, Rackham continued to grapple with the intoxicated, quirky pirate.

“I’m going to fucking kill you!” he snarled as he reached for Sparrow’s neck.

Sparrow squealed like a little girl and batted Rackham’s hands away, sliding across the wooden floor as far away from the enraged quartermaster as he could get. Leaping to his feet, Sparrow raced across the room and made a bee-line for the door.

“Charles! Anne! Some fucking help please?!”

Anne jumped at the sound of her name. She had been momentarily distracted by something Max had said and missed Sparrow’s quick escape from Rackham’s grasp. By the time she and Charles stood to render aid, Sparrow was already running out the door. He turned briefly and gave them a shit-eating grin. He removed his hat and bowed dramatically.

“This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!” he shouted, turning and fleeing out of the Nassau brothel.

…..

Author’s Note:

I intended for this to be a 2 chapter segment with Killian and Sparrow…but I will extend it to 3 chapters to complete this little story. Long John Silver will be in the next chapter! Since Rackham and Silver didn’t get many lines together in Black Sails, I thought it would be appropriate to add him in as a character Rackham encounters.


	3. I Will Be Your Daddy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rackham must tangle with Killian Jones, Jack Sparrow, and Long John Silver all at once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to use several quotes from all these characters that were said in their respective shows and movies, tweaked a few to make the story work.  
Hopefully some of you will pick up on the jokes/easter eggs I planted ;)  
The last segment at the very end is an inside joke from the Black Sails twitter fandom lol

Rackham breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Anne walk through the door, dragging a struggling John Silver behind her. He had a cut above one eye and his other eye was bruised and swelling rapidly. Anne appeared no worse for the wear aside from a look of complete annoyance and a sneer on her face.

“Always cleaning up your fucking messes,” she muttered, shoving Silver down into a nearby chair.

After Sparrow fled the brothel, Anne took off to hunt down Silver per Vane’s orders. Vane also sent Killian and a couple of crew members off to track Sparrow. He figured Silver would put up more of a fight than the drunken fool.

“Any word on Sparrow?” asked Anne, raising an eyebrow while she roughly tied Silver down.

“Not yet,” rumbled Vane, stalking toward her. “But I say we begin questioning our new friend here while we wait.”

“What the hell did you do with my rum?!” demanded Rackham, seething with rage.

Silver glanced up at the quarter master, a small smile playing on his lips. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Anne snarled and lashed out, her hand connecting with the side of Silver’s face. Silver cried out and glared up at Anne. “I can’t help but notice you don’t like me very much. Care to explain why?” he asked, turning his eyes back toward Rackham. “After all, I bought the rum fair and square. No tricks, no lies. Just an honest purchase. It seems to me that, given this knowledge, your anger should really be taken out on him rather than myself.”

“Well he isn’t here at the moment so I suppose you’ll have to do,” snapped Rackham, his patience waning drastically. “I don’t care about you, or your feelings, or anyone else for that matter at this very moment. All I give a shit about is finding my fucking rum and getting my house in order!”

“He’s not very good at that,” muttered Max, sliding up next to Anne.

Anne smirked in agreement, much to Rackham’s continued frustrations.

“Perhaps,” began Silver in that irritating tone that drove Rackham mad. It was the same tone he always used when he was about to manipulate a situation and begin stringing lies together. “Perhaps if your lady friend were to release me, I could help you find this Sparrow gentleman? Get him to pay me back for his falsehood and I’ll return your rum?”

“Exactly how stupid do you find me?” sneered Rackham. “Tell us where you stashed the rum right now, or so help me…”

“If you don’t start talking,” said Vane, snarling with rage, “Then I’ll have Anne start cutting off your fingers, one by one.”

Anne gave Silver a cold smile, drawing pleasure from the sudden flicker of fear in his eyes. She reached down to draw out one of her daggers just as a loud sound from the door of the brothel stole everyone’s attention.

Jack Sparrow stumbled into the brothel and landed face-first in a heap on the floor, his limbs splayed in every which direction. Killian and a couple of Vane’s men emerged after him, smirking in amusement at the drunk pirate captain’s predicament.

“Bloody drunk fool was just wandering the streets looking to pick up whatever woman glanced his way,” Killian said, shaking his head.

“Well it wasn’t like I could come to the brothel,” protested Sparrow, spitting dirt out of his mouth and trying to sit himself upright.

Vane stormed forward to help Killian restrain Sparrow. They grabbed him off the floor and hauled him toward where Silver was tied down and strapped him into a chair alongside.

“First one to speak gets to live to see another day,” Vane growled.

Immediately Silver and Sparrow started speaking at the same time, each trying to talk over the other.

“I still think we could reach a sort of agreement if…”

“Well the rum isn’t technically ‘gone’ persay…”

“What my captain meant to say was, the first one of you fucking idiots to tell me where the goddamn rum is gets to live!” Rackham shouted, pounding his fist on the table.

“Seeing as how I stole it,” slurred Sparrow, “It stands to reason that I am no longer in possession of the rum so I don’t know where it has gone. However there is one barrel I can account for…well I used to be able to account for. I drank it, you see.”

“Oh bloody hell,” muttered Killian, running a hand over his face.

“Jesus H. Christ,” murmured Rackham as he turned toward Anne. “Just start doing what you do best, darling.”

“Just tell us where the bloody barrels are,” said Killian, stepping toward Silver as Anne began to advance.

“I don’t know how else to tell you this,” began Silver. “But no, I’m not telling you shit. Although I suppose there is also ‘fuck no’ and maybe even ‘fuck you.’”

“Anne!” shouted Rackham, losing his patience.

“Does this not seem a bit excessive to you?” shouted Silver, eyeing Anne warily as she snarled down at him.

“Just tell them where the rum’s gone,” hissed Sparrow, staring up at the glowering Anne Bonny. “Otherwise, mate, she’s gonna gut us both.”

Silver hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath as he sensed defeat. Even he wasn’t capable of talking his way out of this one.

“It’s in a storage house downtown,” he muttered, glaring between Rackham and Anne. “You’ll find you’re short three barrels as I sold them already, but the rest are there.”

Rackham threw his hands into the air. “See? Now was that really so difficult?”

Vane nodded to Killian and Anne. “Alright. You two, gather some of the crew and fetch the rum.”

Rackham froze, then turned and gave Killian a long, cold stare. “I believe I should be the one to accompany Anne, don’t you agree Charles?”

“Jesus,” muttered Anne, rolling her eyes and exchanging a knowing look with Max across the room. “Not this shit again.”

“Aye mate,” crooned Killian as he sidled up next to Anne. “You really should just let it go.”

“Let it go?” sputtered Rackham. “What the fuck is there to let go? There’s nothing to let go. Nothing. I just thought I would be better suited to accompany her in this endeavor.”

“Oh I can assure you, she’ll be well taken care of, lad,” Killian said with a suggestive look in Anne’s direction as he casually slipped an arm around her waist.

“You’re a dead man,” snarled Rackham as he braced to launch himself at the cocky pirate.

Vane stepped in front of Rackham before his quartermaster could attempt an attack, much to Rackham’s consternation.

Silver glanced over at Sparrow and raised an eyebrow. “I feel as if we’re both missing something here.”

“Aye,” agreed Sparrow with a wise nod. “That Rackham fellow there, he’s quite ornery. I say why fight when you can negotiate?”

“Precisely,” agreed Silver, giving Sparrow an approving look. “And I’ve met these pirates before…it isn’t like Rackham to resort immediately to violence. He prefers wars of the mind. We have that in common at least.”

“Aye, well when a woman is involved there’s no telling what a man will do,” said Sparrow, his expression suddenly quite serious. “My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that she is also rather troubled,” he added, nodding in Anne’s direction.

Anne was standing stock still, seething with annoyance. “We’re getting the fucking rum and you’re staying here!” she snarled.

“Jack, just calm down,” said Vane, growing rather annoyed with the entire situation. “They’ll return with the rum and everything will be back in order.”

“Alright then,” muttered Anne as she turned away sharply and began to leave the brothel. “What the fuck are you waiting for?” she called over her shoulder to Killian.

Killian smirked and cast a victorious look in Rackham’s direction as he followed Anne through the door. “When a woman beckons, you listen, eh mate?”

Rackham glowered at Killian’s back as the pirate sauntered out of the room. “I swear to god I will kill that eye-liner wearing pirate if it’s the last fucking thing I do on this earth.”

…

Anne and Killian returned a few hours later, the crew following behind them. They grunted with effort as they sat a large barrel full of rum on the floor of the brothel. The rest of the crew followed their lead and, in a few minutes, the floor was covered in barrels.

“Happy now?” muttered Anne under her breath as she walked past Rackham.

“Yes, quite happy darling, thank you,” Rackham said, a big grin on his face as he stared at his prize.

“Well what about them?” asked Killian, lifting his hook and staring through it at Silver and Sparrow. “Surely you can’t allow this deed to go unpunished?”

“He has a point,” relented Vane, shrugging as he glanced over at Rackham.

“Perhaps, maybe…I have a thought,” slurred Sparrow, swaying slightly in his chair.

“For the love of God do not say anything stupid,” hissed Silver, eyeing the drunk pirate warily.

“I was just going to say…perhaps maybe I might be able to purchase a barrel or two of your rum, as an apology, and we could all partake in the pleasures of the dark drink?” Sparrow asked, eyes narrowed in pleasure at the very notion of rum sliding down his throat.

“Fuck that,” sneered Anne. “I’m not getting anywhere this group with rum.”

“I, as well, could purchase a barrel,” said Silver, his voice an octave higher than usual as he stared at the sneering Anne. “Maybe a drink or two would help us all forget this little misadventure?”

Rackham tilted his head, a thoughtful look on his face and his eyes brightening with interest, much to Vane’s disgust.

“Jack you can’t seriously be considering this?” he asked, taking a step toward his quartermaster.

“Fuck that!” Anne said, raising her voice this time. “The drunk one stole your rum and sold it to the fucking snake and now you want to give it back to em?”

“It’s not giving it back,” said Rackham, shifting his weight onto one leg as he pondered the notion. “It’s a business deal. Coin is coin. Perhaps if they can produce this gold they claim they can purchase the barrels with…perhaps some things can be forgiven?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” snarled Anne, whirling around and stalking away from the group.

Max shook her head in apparent disgust and followed Anne to the other side of the brothel, away from the men.

Killian raised a dark brow and gave Rackham a curious look. “Interesting decision there, mate. But if you’re going to be passing around tankards of rum on their coin, well count me in for a few.”

“Who said you’re staying?” Rackham snapped, looking at Killian from his head to his feet and back up again.

“Jack, let it go,” rumbled Vane. “If you’re going to make this stupid decision to do business with men we should be letting Anne flay, then Killian, the only one of the three who did anything decent today, can partake.”

Rackham frowned at Vane. “Is that an order or a suggestion?”

“Consider it an order.”

Rackham cursed under his breath as he watched Killian cut Sparrow and Silver’s ties. This was not going at all according to plan. Not from the moment Killian walked into the brothel. He could have stomached sharing drinks with Sparrow and Silver, but Killian? Killian made his stomach churn.

Vane went to get some of the crew to start opening some of the barrels while Killian made Sparrow and Silver cough up their coin. He tossed the bags onto the table and nodded to Rackham. “Want to double check the coin there, mate?”

“Sure ‘mate,’” Rackham said through his teeth. Everything the eyeliner pirate said was grating on his last nerve. Who said ‘mate’ every five seconds? He quickly ran his hands through the bags of coin and weighed them, nodded toward Killian. “It’ll do. Max! Grab us some tankards would you?”

Max gave a harsh laugh from across the brothel where she sat across a small table from Anne. “You are all on your own. We do not wish to be near any of this nonsense.”

Rackham rolled his eyes while Anne glared at him with a silent challenge. Sighing, Rackham stalked toward the bar to grab the tankards. “Guess I’ll just do everything myself today. Why not? Can’t get anyone to do their bloody jobs on their own these days. Can’t even get people to keep an eye on the damn rum.”

Rackham continued muttering to himself as he returned to the table with an armful of glasses, cups, and whatever else he could find to serve the rum. He watched their crew and their guests eagerly take the containers and begin to fill them to the brim.

“So,” said Rackham, attempting to adjust his own attitude and accept the bizarre and frustrating predicament that was his current existence. “Sparrow. What is it that brought you to the world of piracy?”

Sparrow straightened himself up in his chair after taking a particularly long drink. “One word: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. Until one day you won't be able to resist. And resist I did not!”

Killian nodded. “Aye, I know what you mean. For me it was the realization that the men, the country, I once served was corrupt. The Royal Navy was a disaster. They took my brother from me…so I took their ship, the Jolly Roger. Since then,” he said raising his hook, “Many things have changed. My name is Killian Jones, but most people have taken to calling me by my more colorful moniker: Hook. I’ve found, since becoming a pirate, that a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. So I’ll keep fighting…against the Crown, against anyone who dares control my life or take away from it ever again.”

Silver nodded wisely and lifted his tankard. “Well said.”

Rackham and Vane nodded in agreement and raised their glasses as well and the five pirates toasted to Killian’s speech.

“As for me,” continued Silver, “I never wanted to be a pirate. But, I see an opportunity I take it. It’s a sickness.”

“Aye now that’s a thing I can raise a glass to,” agreed Sparrow. “Opportunity!”

The men all raised their glasses again and downed more and more of the rum. With each proclamation of freedom and anti-Crown sentiments, the pirates became more and more intoxicated.

“A shanty!” shouted Sparrow. “Let us sing to the glory of being pirates!”

Rackham felt his head spin as he watched the Sparrow fellow leap out of his chair and begin to sway to music inside his own head. An hour ago he would have thought the man absolutely mad, but in his drunken stooper, Rackham found him inspiring, bold even. He stood, nearly losing his balance, and raised his half-empty tankard.

“A shanty it is!” he said, his voice slurred.

“Shall I get us started?” asked Killian, standing to his feet. “I know a rather impressive one I think you’ll catch onto quickly enough.”

Vane nodded. “Get on with it then, motherfucker!”

Killian cleared his throat and sat down his glass and began to sing quite loudly:

My dear Prince and Princess

Your offer is meaningless

Don't give a damn 'bout your rank.

The gold in your sack, well it isn't worth jack...

I should make you fools go walk the plank!

Your riches would fill other pirates with glee

But none of those pirates are me!!! (They're not he!)

Singin' yo ho; keep your jewels divine.

Yo ho – and your manners refined

Cuz even more precious than rum in a stein is

Revenge, revenge, revenge, and it's gonna be mine.

Revenge, revenge, revenge... is gonna be mine!

Killian jumped up on a nearby table and began to dance and stomp to the beat of the music, gesturing dramatically with his hands. Sparrow, fascinated by the performance, began to dance around the brothel, grabbing a nearby whore and spinning her around.

I've savaged and pillaged and pilfered each village -

My conquest I'm justly proud of. (He's proud of...)

Each time that I plunder, I leave to an asunder

A pirate's life is one to love. (One to love!)

And yet my heart's hardened as hard as a rock –

Won't rest 'til I skin me a croc!!! (Gonna skin me a croc!)

Singin yo ho! You can beg me, bring wine.

But yo ho – you'll be wasting your time.

That croc in my hand – wanna tear out his spine!

Revenge, revenge, revenge... is gonna be mine.

Revenge, revenge, revenge... is gonna be mine.

Rackham lifted his glass and swayed to the music, finding himself rather enthralled by the entire experience. This Killian guy wasn’t so bad when one drank enough to stomach his presence. His shanty was rather catching too. 

Once I sailed toward a horizon where I might find happiness waiting.

Until that croc destroyed my life and filled me with hate unabaiting.

Some say 'Let it go' but I say 'HELL NO!'

I'm finally on the right path!!!

Soon the dark one will feel (he will feel)

The fire of this pirate's wrath

Singing yo-ho, I'll slaughter this swine

Yo-ho, must be fate's design

At last our tales will again intertwine

Revenge, revenge, revenge is gonna be mine

Oh, it's gonna be

Oh, it's gonna be

Oh, it's gonna be mine!!!!

The pirates clapped and whistled in appreciation of Killian’s shanty while Sparrow clambered up onto another table and lifted his hands, eager to get everyone’s attention. 

“And now for another shanty you will all be familiar with I’m sure,” he slurred, rum sloshing out of his glass as he began to sing. 

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me

We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me

“This is pathetic,” muttered Anne from where she and Max were sitting far away from the spectacle on the other side of the brothel.

“I suppose it is better than them fighting,” said Max with a sigh as she watched half the rum end up on the floor while the drunk men danced. “It’s going to take forever to get this house back in order.”

We kindle and char, inflame and ignite

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

We burn up the city, we're really a fright

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me

We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho

Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!

By now the men were all completely drunk, arms slung around one another and swaying as they sang. 

Rackham was having a fabulous time. He had one arm around Killian’s shoulders and the two men seemed to be getting along as if they had been friends forever. 

“How do you get your eyeliner to do that?” Rackham asked, staring at Killian. “I mean it’s perfectly placed and not a single smudge. What charcoal do you use?”

“Ah, it’s all in the placement, mate,” said Killian as he began to demonstrate. 

“Is he giving Jack makeup tips?” asked Max, leaning forward in her chair. She and Anne stared while Killian mimed putting on charcoal around his eyes and Rackham studied the process closely.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” growled Anne. “I need that rum more than they do…just to put up with him when this is all through.”

The men continued frolicking and acting like drunken fools for a couple more hours, dancing laughing and singing through the night. 

Silver and Sparrow kept bumping into Vane while they danced and were beginning to get under the toughened pirate captain’s skin. Sparrow stumbled into him one final time and Vane exploded, shoving the eccentric pirate away, causing him to fly into Silver. Both pirates crashed to the floor in a tangled heap, giggling as they scrambled to get to their feet and away from Vane. 

“Now, now,” chided Rackham. “If you’re going to behave like children then I will be your daddy!”

The room went silent for a beat and the men all turned to stare at Rackham before they burst into laughter. 

“Alright, that’s quite enough,” Vane announced after a moment. “Pack it up, let’s call it a night.”

The pirates groaned in protest but obeyed Vane’s orders and began stumbling across the brothel, disappearing into whatever available rooms were closest, much to Max’s frustration. She frowned after them, imagining all the rooms that would need tending to whenever the pirates awoke the next day. 

“Let’s get your foolish ass to bed,” muttered Anne as she let Rackham put an arm around her shoulders and lean his weight onto her. 

Rackham was smiling, feeling rather pleased with how everything turned out. Despite his anger toward Killian and extreme frustration with Sparrow and Silver, the drunken pirate shanties and endless dancing had put him in quite a happy mood.

“Hey, Anne?”

Anne groaned, bracing herself for whatever Rackham was about to say. “What?”

“Killian told me about these wonderful little things,” Rackham said, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “He called them…bath bombs. You put them in a tub and they turn the water into a delightful smelling rainbow. You think we could get some? Some bath bombs?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!”

…


End file.
